Loneliness is not just being alone. You can spend most of your time alone and not feel lonely. Or you can have plenty of social contact and interaction with friends and family, be in a relationship and still feel lonely.
It can be described as the feeling we experience if there is a mismatch between the social connection and interaction we have and that which we desire or need. It is dependent upon the quality, rather than quantity, of these interactions. Our experience of loneliness is often accompanied by a feeling of dissatisfaction.
Though loneliness is not a mental health problem itself, the two are closely linked. Loneliness can often lead and develop into a mental health problem and a mental health problem can increase your likeliness of feeling lonely.
Loneliness is not limited to any section or demographic of society – loneliness impacts us all. All of us at some point in our lives will feel lonely. As evidenced in the report ‘All the Lonely People: Loneliness in Later Life’ from Age UK, a person’s risk of loneliness does not vary depending upon age, though its cause does.
The number of people feeling lonely has been increasing and its detrimental impact on our mental health is widely recognised in studies, such as the ‘Relationships in the 21st century’ report by the Mental Health Foundation. The pandemic exacerbated the problem of loneliness.
Causes of loneliness
Loneliness can have a diverse array of causes, which are often highly personal and subjective. But there are certain life events and circumstances than can lead to loneliness such as:
- bereavement
- break-up in relationships, whether family, friends or partners
- moving to a new and different area
- starting a new job
- starting at university
- retiring from work
- being estranged from family
- having no friends or family
- living far away from friends or family
- having less free time for socialising, due to being a single parent or carer
- having a disability which excludes you from social activities
- financial constraints which stop you from being able to go to social events and activities
- belonging to a minority group and living in an area without many others of the same minority group
- experience of discrimination due to sexuality, gender or race
- previous experience of abuse and maltreatment from family, friends or partners
- certain neurological conditions.