Finding strength through community, parenthood and persistence

When I began studying for my degree with the Open University, my twins were only 18 months old. At the time, I was navigating life as a parent while managing autism, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and my own mental health challenges.

Looking back now, I still wonder how we made it through some of those years, but we did. The journey was far from straightforward. While studying, we faced countless medical appointments and procedures for our children. The twins went through lip and tongue tie surgeries, followed later by tonsillectomies.

During another pregnancy, we were told our son was unlikely to survive. After he was born, he underwent open heart surgery at just eight days old. Then came one of the hardest moments our family has ever faced. When one of the twins was four years old, she needed emergency open heart surgery, and there was a point where we nearly lost her.

At the same time, my assignments still had deadlines, parenting still continued every day, and my mental health struggles did not pause simply because life demanded resilience.

There were moments of exhaustion, overwhelm, fear and isolation. As someone with autism and ADHD, balancing family life, study, emotional regulation, appointments, routines and constant uncertainty could feel impossible at times.

But one thing I learned is that nobody succeeds alone. The support around me made all the difference. My wife carried us through some of the darkest moments with strength and patience. Friends stepped in when we needed encouragement or simply someone to listen. And attending community groups and meet-ups through Families in Mind, West Sussex Mind's service for parents with young children, gave me something I did not realise I was missing - connection. Those groups reminded me that I was still a person outside of being a parent, carer or student. They gave me space to talk openly, to feel understood and to focus on my own wellbeing without guilt. Sometimes just being around people who understood mental health struggles made the load feel lighter.

Despite everything, I completed my degree. Not because things became easy, but because support, community and self-care made continuing possible.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is this: making time for yourself is not selfish. Parents often feel they must give every piece of themselves to everyone else first, especially when caring for children with medical needs or managing their own mental health. But taking time to focus on your wellbeing can be the very thing that allows you to keep going.

You can still succeed while asking for help. You can still be a good parent while struggling. You can still grow, achieve and move forward, even during the hardest seasons of life. And sometimes, all it takes is one supportive community to remind you that you do not have to do it alone.