Jo's story: Finding community for our family

I felt very isolated and anxious after our twins were born. I was concerned that our children had disabilities and I was struggling to manage everyone’s needs. Then when I became pregnant with our now three-year-old son, Grayson, I struggled again when we were told that he had a blocked aorta and was unlikely to survive.

I felt depressed and angry that we were having another child with disabilities. And then, when he survived against the odds, having open heart surgery at eight days old, I experienced postnatal depression. I think this was partly because I hadn’t processed the birth trauma with the twins, and my partner Becky’s near death during childbirth, but also because I spent most of my pregnancy not expecting Grayson to survive and so didn’t bond in the same way.

Becky, Grayson and I decided to try West Sussex Mind’s play and chat sessions for parents experiencing difficulties with their mental health. At first I sat back and just observed, but slowly I began chatting and building relationships. Over time Families in Mind has become a safe space for our family where I can be open if I’m finding things difficult with my kids and not feel judged.

The weekly group is a great community and you aren’t made to feel like a service user being helped by a charity; I feel like any other parent. It’s a priceless support group that doesn’t just listen to us, but inspires and encourages us, and gives us coping strategies for the hard times.

My life has become much healthier and I’ve built my confidence in social situations. It’s made me feel valued and accepted. I’m not excluded for being autistic and sometimes a little blunt, but feel like I genuinely matter and that people are interested in what I have to say. I feel the most ‘normal’ I have in a long time and I’m hopeful for our family again. Although life is still a struggle at times, I feel much more supported with help from Families in Mind.